A flippant remark about age sparked of a conversation and a quick straw poll at work today. The outcome was, while most would quite happily shave a few years of their age if they got a chance to, nobody would have wanted to be 15 again, be it in their time or the present. The reasons were varied but on the whole 15 appears not to be remembered with fondness. The same day Karl posts a picture of Guillaume and being 15 comes back to me. While Karl was very good looking (I expect he still is) he was never my cup of tea. Guillaume was something else. My first real crush. Like all crushes it was going nowhere. While my fantasies were not of the holding hands variety (romantism was as wasted on me then as it is now) I am pretty sure it would have been a disaser if they had entered the world of reality and while I guess he must have had an idea I fancied him I feel he would have been a bit freaked out if he had realised just how much. It lasted a while (a good 3 years). The crush just melted away and when we went to University the nature of my feelings just changed, he became somebody I liked instead. No more longing for scents and touches, just enjoyment to be around him. I still get a warm feeling when I hear or read he is doing well and he is happy. I wonder if it would have been the case if the crush had been mutual.
Conversations and coincidences
15.9.04 22:03
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karl / Website (16.9.04 12:37) The funny thing is that I would not mind to be 15 again. Because I had a great time during my "college" and "lycée" years. And it's quite impressive the number of persons I met who have bad memories of this time pre-university time.  The funny thing is that I mentioned you to Guillaume in Kyoto, when we were discussing about the lycée time, and you were online writing.
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(16.9.04 20:29) If I could have had different parents I would love to be 15 again. I'm about to show my age but - it was the time of 'flower power', and not a summer of love, but several summers. |
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(17.9.04 05:50) Ugh. 15 blew for me too. I wouldn't go back for anything. |
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(17.9.04 11:51) There were some good bits but nothing which outweighed putting up with the insecurities. I feel it would probably be even worse being 15 now. |
